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Opinion: Why the writer hasn’t seen any good movies lately

I haven’t seen any good movies because I haven’t seen any good trailers (commercials for movies) that make me want to see any of the films the trailers are pushing (or pulling; probably you push a film, but you pull a trailer about the film you are pushing.)

Most of these trailers show clips and snippets that are supposed to give the viewer an idea of what the content of a movie might be and — entice you to buy a ticket to the movie.

The problem is that the latest trailers of the latest movies seem to show little else but cars flying off buildings and landing in balls of flame. I realize such content does entice a certain amount of viewership, especially among men of a certain age — that age being about 17 years old. And these men certainly have a right to take in these movies, which show the actors ruining perfectly good Mercedes Benz cars. Or Audis. or Lexuses. Or Corvettes. Or Mustangs.

The point of view of these self-inflicted car wrecks is usually from the road, looking up — which makes for a good view of the bottom of the car being ruined. Or, it provides a gander of what you would see if the car were to fall and hit you. And I have to tell you it doesn’t take much to imagine that.

In fact, the chances are you would wind up like a piece of hamburger meat in nothing flat. (Or, it might be something flat, if you were to last long enough for the experience to be over.)

I just saw a trailer of a movie filmed in 1974 that showed an 18-wheeler truck smashing into a Mustang that was against a utility pole. What a mess that was.

I have seen some actual car wrecks on the highway — the 99, to be exact, and I have seen some body bags hauled away in coroner’s vans. And, I will tell you the actual event — not a re-enactment of the event for movie cameras — is awful.

Of course, there are some cars you would like to see smashed to smithereens. I, for one, wouldn’t mind seeing a Mercedes, or an Audi, or a Lexus smashed up as long as the driver or anybody else wasn’t hurt.

But getting back to the movie, I hear tell the movie business is falling off, probably because the movies are all the same action shot. There are some pretty good movies that aren’t just action shots, and we may see some of them when the Academy Awards are presented.

Of course, if the Academy Awards show is just trailers with actors flapping their gums about how the country should be run — possibly as an action-movie trailer — then I don’t want to se them. I would prefer a film about tap dancing or something exciting like that.

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