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The Madera Tribune

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What some will do to save on gas

February 21, 2018

I don’t know about you, but I have been hearing a lot about the market lately (the stock market, not the super market), about how the market has been going up like the rocket ship that carried Elon Musk’s Tesla roadster into outer space. Some people will go to any lengths to save gas.


But then, all at once the market started coming down again, faster than a speeding Tesla, which is fast, let me tell you.


I have a friend who has a Tesla, and when he floors it, that car takes off like one of Kim Jong Un’s missiles, only it is much quieter. In fact, you can’t hear it unless it hits you. The sound is sort of like this: “whooschsss — kaphrump!” That last noise is the one you personally make when the Tesla lets you have it with one of its fenders, and you fly through the air like the Dow Jones Industrial Average after a good day.


After that good day, or a bunch of them, the market eventually goes down in what is called a correction. In my world, a correction is what one does to fix a mistake, but not many would say it was a mistake for the market to go up. It is more like the market slapping the investors around for being too careless with their money. Sort of like correcting a naughty child.


Maybe correction is too mild a word for what happens when the market loses a thousand points or so. They didn’t call it a correction a few years ago when a lot of the tech stocks dropped like the victims of a North Korean firing squad. They called it a dot.bomb, not a dot.correction.


Musk is a multibillionaire, and so can afford to send his roadster into outer space. After all, he owns Space X, which is the rocket company that is carrying the Tesla. And it probably is practical for him. Think of the money he will save on car tags.

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