top of page

Of holidays, and burgerbots…

One thing I don’t understand is why some people believe it is their mission at Christmas to steal or deface the Christmas decorations of others.

I have heard stories here in Madera of blow-up displays of Santa or Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer being ruined by people who cut them with knives or poke them with ice picks.

And there are thefts of lights or just ruination of lights by people who cut them with snippers and leave them hanging useless on the fences or trees where they served as part of the holiday cheer.

A few years ago, we bought a beautiful wreath and hung it on the front door. A couple of days later, I happen to open the front door — and the wreath was gone. Some jerk had walked off with it. I still miss that wreath. I bought it at Trees for Charity. At least the money we paid for it went for a good cause.

People whose outdoor decorations are defaced or stolen aren’t eager, generally, to put up new decorations to replace the missing or ruined ones. As a result, the joy that the decorations brought to the neighborhoods is no more.

People who trash the Christmas decorations of others are called vandals by psychiatrists and cops, and four-letter words by others, and are viewed as mentally ill.

As my ma used to say, “Something is wrong with their heads.” They have an inability to cope with life’s ordinary demands and routines. If they can’t have beautiful Christmas decorations, they will steal those of others, or do something so that those who do have decorations can’t enjoy them.

Vandalism practices begin in early childhood with lying, hitting others, theft, setting fires and bullying. Antisocial behaviors also include drug and alcohol abuse and high-risk activities such as slashing tires, damaging inventory in stores, breaking windows.

Riots are forms of extreme vandalistic misbehavior, and many companies will not employ people who have been photographed participating in rioting or other such sociopathic behavior. Which serves them right.

• • •

I was reading three or four months ago that a few hamburger fast-food restaurants around the country have become early adopters of robot hamburger cookery. The people who eat those hamburgers say they aren’t bad in terms of flavor and appearance.

That may be true, but I, for one, am glad local hamburgeries haven’t put robots on their cooking lines. There are quite a few excellent places to eat hamburgers in Madera, and the human cooks seem to be turning out great products.

The delicious hamburgers of the Red Onion on Road 26, for example would not be improved by having robots cooking them. The burgers at the Vineyard need no robots to make them better because they already are great. The burgers at Farnesi’s need no robots to improve them for they already are perfect, and so on. The burgers at Perko’s need no robots to handle them, because they already are delicious.

Let’s give a cheer, for the burgerbots aren’t here.

bottom of page