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The Madera Tribune

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A resolution not to resolve anything

January 1, 2018

If I wind up making a New Year’s resolution, this is what it will be:


I resolve to stop making New Year’s resolutions.


You would think that would be an easy resolution to keep, but it isn’t. For example, I was listening to a talk show on the way to work Thursday morning, and the commentator said ordinary people (that’s me, about as ordinary as a person can get) tend to like to make New Year’s resolutions because they believe it is part of the process of making one a better human being.


But the commentator also said: “Those who make resolutions wind up breaking about 90 percent of them.”


He also said the most common of all resolutions is to lose weight.


That may be because of all the food we consume during the holidays. Cookies, cakes, candy — it’s all there in abundance.


In fact, I am munching on a Christmas cookie as I write this — NOT having made a resolution to lose weight. I will hold off on the lose-weight resolution until these particular cookies are gone.


Also, there’s still quite a lot of eating to be done before the actual New Year.


Another widely broken  resolution is to exercise more. A few years ago, I made that resolution and then joined a gym. Oh, what a terrible mistake that was.


After the first few weeks, I gradually cut down on my attendance, until I forgot where the gym was. But the gym still kept dinging my credit card for the membership.


That ran contrary to my resolution to save money.


You see the problems?


Perhaps the solution to the problem is to eat more, never exercise, and waste my money on frivolities such as bread, milk and other non-necessities. Cat food falls into that category, too.


I may resolve to stop feeding the cats that come around our house, but it already may be too late for that.


I suspect the cats already are inviting their friends over.

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