Be forewarned: Mystery Critic strikes

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webmaster | 10/15/13

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This week, after considerable nagging, a Mystery Critic has been allowed to answer some Red Line comments at the time they are published. The Editor apologizes in advance.

  • A woman “wondered if Madera could put trash cans on the River Trail. It would help some of the trash that is in the river. It would help keep it clean.” Mystery Critic: The problem is not a lack of garbage cans; the problem is a lack of sense and common decency on the part of trashy people who use the trail.
  • The same voice called later asking, “do you know how many beautiful wildlife we have in the river? And what different types of plants grow? There’s hummingbirds, hawks and dragonflies” There was long silence, then she hung up. Mystery Critic: Apparently the caller had taken another toke on her blunt since her previous call.
  • What sounded like the same voice called again. “I think I want to be a journalist or a writer or something,” she said. “I kind of like words, but I don’t seem to ever finish my sentences.” She then said, “You don’t say one bad thing that the casino is going to do to us. It’s not going to help the people who helped build this town. This used to be an old town, country town.” The call ended with profanity. Yet another message by the same caller was not accepted. Mystery Critic: Most of those who helped build the old country town are now in the old country cemetery, and their memories are well honored; those who are building now are building for the future.
  • “I think Supervisor Max Rodriguez owes mental health workers an apology,” said a lady. “I don’t know where I would be without those good people over there. Those workers do a thankless job. They don’t need elected officials talking smack about them at last weekend’s health fair.”
  • A “past commander of VFW Post 1981 of Madera,” who left his name said, “I was a little appalled about the story about the Latinas Unidas celebration Sunday. That celebration began with the VFW post showing the American flag and the crowd saying the pledge of allegiance and then they marched off the field. Yet, there is no mention of the VFW presenting the flag or the pledge of allegiance.” Mystery Critic: Obviously, Latinas Unidas did the right thing, although the intrepid journalist did not report it.
  • A regular critic of Madera High football said, “They will be beat by at least 20 points every game. Their best bet is to move to the North Yosemite League.” Mystery Critic: Why on earth hasn’t a brilliant strategist such as yourself applied for the job of football coach?
  • A man who originally called about “the 7:40 start time for high schools,” responded to last week’s caller. “I didn’t call to complain about the school starting at 7:40. I called and said it was wrong to give a teenager the responsibility to get the kids to school safely and on time. Is it now the teenager’s responsibility to dress and feed them? Come on parents, be a parent. You had them, you take care of them.” Mystery Critic: The teenagers in Madera apparently do know how to have children; it only follows they should know how to take care of them as well.
  • A man called “about the Gold Cup Car Show they had last Saturday. The food, the show, the people, everything was great. They only made one big booboo. The people who put on the car show should have known better than to have the type of band they had. They should have had a rock and roll band that goes with the cars. Car shows go with the ’50s and ’60s and rock and roll. Whoever chose that band shouldn’t have. The music was terrible.” Mystery Critic: All you had to do was rent the vacant lot down the street, write a check and hire your own band.
  • A lady “was truly inspired by the 4-H youth section in Thursday’s paper. Let’s hear more about our final outstanding young people. Did you know that 41 percent of 4-H members were less likely to be involved in risky behavior? Congratulations and thanks to those that work and support these young people.”
  • A man “wanted to give credit to our Parks Department for keeping our parks clean and to the guys who keep the ball fields in such great shape. It’s appreciated.”
  • A man said, “You guys ran a story about a woman who was getting her food stamps stopped in Concord, N.H. You might want to take a look at that picture because in the background there looks like there is a bunch of bottles of alcohol. (Note: The story and photo were provided by Associated Press).
  • A woman read the same article “Thursday, Oct. 10, and there is an article regarding a food stamp program ending. I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but in the picture, on the top of the mantel above the fireplace, there are clearly several bottles of booze, wine, alcohol, champagne, etc. And this (woman) is worried about her benefits dropping Dec. 1. If her and her husband quit buying booze they might be able to afford food.” Mystery Critic: Perhaps the real solution, if one is needed, is for the government to start issuing booze stamps.

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