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The Madera Tribune

Some good news on the chocolate front

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webmaster | 08/31/12

We’re getting bombarded with good news lately, and a lot of us couldn’t be happier, unless we are trying to restrict our caloric intake to roughly that of a sparrow.

First, a study at Stockholm’s Karolinksa Institute has determined that “men may be able to reduce their risk of having a stroke by about onesixth, simply by eating one chocolate bar per week.”

Cocoa contains flavonoids, which lower blood pressure, increase good cholesterol and improve the function of the arteries, a report on the study says.

The report also tells us that flavonoids, a type of antioxident, also may thin the blood and prevent clotting, which could help stave off heart attacks and strokes.

A lot of men take pills for those things. Wouldn’t it be nice just to eat chocolate bars. Or, to pop a pill, take a bite of chocolate bar and wash it down with a swallow of chocolate milk?

Other things the researchers noticed: “Participants who ate more chocolate tended as a group to be better educated and healthier than their peers. They were less likely to smoke or have high blood pressure, and less likely to have the heart-rate abnormality known as atrial fibrillation, a major risk factor for stroke.”

It also says chocolate consumers tend to be better looking, are terrific singers, have cuter spouses, cuter dogs, better-mannered cats and enjoy reading Swedish mysteries. (In case you didn’t know, I made the last part up.)

We also have been told that calorie-restricted diets don’t help research monkeys live any longer. As you may have heard, some scientists believe that if people restrict their caloric intake to about 800 or 900 calories a day, instead of the usual 2,000 or 2,200, they will live longer, healthier lives. Research on monkeys has shown this isn’t true. Humans who practice this say it is true, but there is just one problem. They are hungry and cranky all the time, and they have to lay off things like chocolate if they eat their soy curd and vegetables.

So, I’m off to the store to get a Hershey bar. See you there.


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