Happening to look into the window of a women’s shoe store the other day, I saw what must be the world’s ugliest shoes. Several pair were in the window that I would call ugly, but the particular ones I’m writing about were the Frankensteins of women’s shoes.
Here is what they looked like: A pair of high heels that were atop high-heeled platforms. I would call them ankle-breakers.
I have seen a few women wearing such shoes, and they all were walking as though they had the gout. Those shoes not only were ugly, they were dangerous.
Now, of course the women who wear such shoes have a right to put them on and walk in them, but I worry for their fathers. I know if any of my daughters wore such shoes, I would be concerned about getting a phone call from whichever of them was wearing the torture devices informing me she had just broken her leg in three places as she stepped off a curb.
“Oh, you poor baby,” I would say, but I would be thinking: “You were an idiot to wear such ugly and dangerous shoes.”
Shoes should be comfortable and safe. However, it turns out that safety and comfort are of no concern when it comes to why women buy shoes. Rather, they buy shoes to be in fashion. If a shoemaker can convince women, especially young women, that ugly and dangerous shoes are fashionable, that shoemaker will profit, at least until he is hit with a liability lawsuit from some poor lass who can’t walk any more because her ankles have both snapped off.
Men also are creatures of fashion. In recent years, they have taken to wearing long, taper-toed shoes that make them look like Rags the Clown or an Italian politician. I am not sure which is worse.
Just give me good old penny loafers any time.