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The Madera Tribune

Pondering the chocolate pretzel crisis

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webmaster | 11/26/12

Forget the helium shortage. Who cares whether the giant balloons at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade no longer can float along on their own. Ignore the rare earth shortages on the horizon, when cell phones again may become the size of shoes.

Those looming shortages are nothing compared to one we are experiencing right now, today, as we speak: We’re in the middle of a chocolate pretzel crisis.

Yes, strange as it may seem, in the face of a massive, world-wide demand (or at least a massive demand here in Madera) pretzel makers have decided to make only so many bags of chocolate-coated pretzels.

Fans of chocolate-covered pretzels are having it rough. On Sunday, for example, one aficionado reported the chocolate-coated pretzel department of one local drug store was sold out, while vanilla yogurt-coated pretzels were in full supply. One wonders: If nobody is going to buy yogurt-coated pretzels, why bother making them? Why not just make more chocolate-covered pretzels?

One chocolate-coated pretzel fanatic (who wants to remain anonymous so his wife doesn’t learn of his addiction) told of finding a display of chocolate-coated pretzels in a local convenience store. He bought a couple of bags and made a note to go back in a few days when he needed more. But when he did go back, the chocolate-covered pretzels were gone, and in their place were ordinary pretzels. He was devastated.

“It was the second time I had a supply run out on me,” he said. “I’m going to write my congressman about this. Why should any American have to eat regular pretzels if what he wants are chocolate pretzels?” He lamented: “I think my civil rights are being violated.”

Helium and rare earth both are necessary for high-tech manufacturing and development, and helium also is used to keep balloons in the air, so you can see they have their uses.

But chocolate-covered pretzels are comfort snacks. Will they go the way of the Twinkie and the Ho-Ho?

Let’s ho-hope not.


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