Serving the heart of California since 1892

The Madera Tribune

Most interesting stuff

Most newspaper content here is incomplete. Want it all? Sooner? Subscribe to our full print and online editions by calling (559) 674-4207 and get both for the price of one!

webmaster | 10/25/13

Do we know what happened to all the redneck jokes? Is the king of them, Jeff Foxworthy (“you might be a redneck if…”), no longer on tour? However, thanks to my breakfast pals at Country Waffles, they are not buried. I discovered I might be a redneck if I have my own personal booth.

At least that is what the note read on the table as yours truly sat down and waited for the pretty Kim to bring me my coffee. Meanwhile at the next booth, the culprits, Jim Massetti, Steve King, and John Bliss, chuckled as I put the old mind in motion to conjure up this column.

+ + +

With Halloween around the corner down in those whereabouts where necks can be red, and where they have their own dictionary, it is not nice to scare anyone. Or from their Webster’s: TABOO, as in; ’tain’t nice for folks taboo little Johnny like that.”

Those boys also reminded me of the time I was in the army stationed at Ft. Leonard, Mo. Not feeling well, I reported to sick call. I went through some exams when this local doctor came in and said, “I ransom tests and you’re going to be okay.” Of course “he was odor than dirt” and, as my neck was turning red, I thought, “gotta get outta here, this is not where oblong.” ...


comments powered by Disqus