Serving the heart of California since 1892

The Madera Tribune

Just keep that catnip subsidy intact

Most newspaper content here is incomplete. Want it all? Sooner? Subscribe to our full print and online editions by calling (559) 674-4207 and get both for the price of one!

webmaster | 01/14/14

You may (or may not) have heard by now that the new federal budget will be somewhere around $1.1 trillion, and a lot of people think that might be too much money for a little old country like ours to spend in just a few months.

But the cat in our house (the one that charges us a bowl of kibble and two bowls of soft food a day for rent) couldn’t care less, as long as her tiny share of the budget remains intact.

The $1.1 trillion includes everything the federal government does, such as sending the Navy out shopping for aircraft carriers, sending the Air Force folks out shopping for fighter planes and sending the Army people out shopping for drones, cannons, rifles and bullets.

Also, there’s a great deal of money being spent right now on various sorts of welfare such as aid to just about everybody, including rich farmers and poor farmers, among many others.

The cat, of course, cares nothing for aircraft carriers, fighter planes, guns, bullets or drones. But she has a deep concern over the price of catnip, and a tiny subsidy that makes it affordable to poor cats like she is. She got a Christmas present this year that is a catnip doll that looks like a mouse. The only problem is, the catnip, which is tucked into a pocket of the mouse, runs out of steam, or whatever catnip has that gets cats all worked up. If you have a cat, and you have given that cat a dose of catnip to play with, you know what I’m talking about. They go a little goofy, start rolling around and generally wind up making fools of themselves. Our cat is no different. When she is around catnip, she is a blithering idiot.

But we have to keep restocking the catnip in the pocket of the mouse or the cat makes a big fuss. Once a feline gets into the catnip, it’s a hard habit to break.

Well, the same is true of the people who want more aircraft carriers, more planes, more guns, more bullets. The same is also true of those who want welfare, whether it is in the form of tax breaks or payments for lying around not doing much. Just as long as that little subsidy that keeps catnip flowing into our house, we’ll have a happy cat.


comments powered by Disqus