Hello… are you out there? Oh good, you are. I was not thoroughly convinced you would be. Thank goodness. It feels great to be past the latest apocalypse watch. They have gotten rather tedious.
Since the world didn’t come crashing down we can relax and get ready for a visit from Santa Claus. I’m looking for a talented spin doctor to convince Ol’ Saint Nick I should be on his “nice” list.
Would it help if I apologized to everyone I offended this year? I could start with our conservative subscribers and then say I’m sorry to our liberal readers because apparently I tick them off too.
Maybe I could buy my way off the naughty list? I don’t have a lot of money but could we work out a monthly payment plan? What would that cost me? Now that I’ve worked out the rough spots, I can tell Santa what I want for Christmas...