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The Madera Tribune

A firm renewal of a resolution

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webmaster | 12/29/12

My first New Year’s resolution this year will be to continue an old one, which is to try not to do business with companies that have phone answering robots that begin their answer to your call with “Your call is very important to us.”

I can’t imagine a greater insult to the intelligence of the caller. If the call really were important, the companies would hire people to answer the phones.

Or, they would tell the truth, thusly: “Hi, this is an answering machine-bot, and we are trying to minimize the bother of dealing with customers and prospective customers. Therefore, we’re going to have you sit there and punch buttons in hopes of reaching a human being (fat chance, sucker), or have you merely wait and listen to recorded music that you may or may not like. We don’t have time to be bothered answering your call, but we believe you won’t mind taking time to be bothered by us.”

At least that would be honest, like the cat at our house is honest. If she doesn’t want to talk to you, she just turns and walks away. She can’t be bothered to have an answering machine, because she isn’t interested in playing back her calls. If she wants to talk to you, she will rub your leg or bite your ankle. Or, she may squawk, or knock on the back door, or scratch the door, or scratch the carpet in front of the door she wants you to open. But she would never sit there and listen to messages on an answering machine.

Well, from now on, neither will I listen to an answering machine unless it makes it possible for me to leave a quick message and get off the line.

Otherwise, the only thing the machine will get out of me is heavy breathing, or words one should not say in front of a lady or a member of the clergy.


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