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The Madera Tribune

Of fancy watches, parallel universes

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webmaster | 07/27/12

I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but things seem to keep getting more complicated. Even simple things like watches are so complicated the universities are thinking about offering degrees in watch observation, which doesn’t surprise me. Universities offer degrees in just about everything else, helping complicate education, along with watches.

Physicists now, instead of just studying physics, are studying parallel universes. They think that in some parallel universes there are people who look like us doing just what we are doing. In the parallel universe, for example, some guy could be writing a newspaper article just as I am right now, and the next day, somebody else reads it, just as you are doing right now. At least, I hope you are reading this.

But getting back to watches, Iam looking at an ad for the “Ball Official Standard RR Trainmaster Worldtime Chronograph Automatic — 42mm (The world’s first day/date worldtime chronograph.)”

It has four dials and a daydate movement. It tells you what time it is in the Azores and in Georgia (the country, not the state). Besides having the chronograph display, it boasts accumulated time measurement up to 12 hours and self-powered micro gas lights. The watch’s photo in the ad makes it look like it weighs about seven pounds.

I don’t doubt it is a wonderful piece of machinery, but I don’t think I would want it. When I look at my watch, all I want is to know what time it is where I am. Unless Ihappen to be in the Azores, Icouldn’t care less what time it is there. What if I got the two times mixed up, and thought it was Azores time instead of Madera time? I would be either very early or very late to my next appointment.

Unless, of course, the appointment was in the parallel universe, where a person just as confused as I was would be early or late as well, and it wouldn’t matter. Thank goodness science keeps us straight on these things.


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