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Eat more zucchini, save America

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webmaster | 09/20/12

One of the hallmarks of our times is that one group of people is constantly telling other groups what to eat and drink. We already have discussed in this space the New York City ban on sugary drinks in containers of more than 16 ounces, and we all have heard the rants about how people should not eat the enormous hamburgers that those who sell hamburgers for a living are wont to provide their grateful customers.

For myself, I am not one to tell others what to eat, unless it is the cat or the dog. But even in their cases, I tend to give them what they want so I don’t have them rubbing on my pant leg or whimpering beside the dinner table while their uneaten dinners lie in their bowls. If I am anything, I am a well trained pet feeder.

Of course, there will be those who claim I feed the pets the wrong stuff. We have a friend who feeds her corgi cooked carrots. The corgi loves them. He is even putting on a little weight. And I say, if he is happy with carrots, may the spirit of Bugs Bunny smile on him. The friend with the carrot-eating corgi, by the way, says nothing about what we feed our pets. And that’s the way it should be.

However, I am going to offer a bit of dietetic advice to all those who offer it to others: Eat more zucchini. This is the zucchini season, and the best thing we can do for the environment and for the public health is to wolf down all the zucchini we can get our hands on.

Otherwise, zucchini will take over the earth and become the dominant species. Zucchini growers are having to take their squashes out for walks at night to use up energy that might otherwise spent growing bigger. Yes, folks, you may have thought that was a dachshund at the end of that leash, but no, it was a medium-sized zucchini.

Zucchini is good for you, and it can be eaten raw or cooked. In a few recipes, it is almost edible. Chocolate chip and zucchini cookies aren’t bad, for example. If they could make a palatable zucchini pet food, they could save America, perhaps the world.


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