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The Madera Tribune

Braving the cell phone frenzy

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webmaster | 08/19/14

I went cell phone shopping the other night at a local store, and was amazed at what I saw. I’ve been a cell phone shopper before, but I don’t recall seeing a frenzy like the one that greeted me when I walked in the door.

But first, you should know why I went cell phone shopping in the first place. My old cell phone, which I’ve had for about four years, has started to act up. It does things I don’t want it to do. For example, if I push the stop-watch button, it comes up with what time it is in London. When I do eventually get the stop watch, it starts when I push the appropriate button, but then it wanders off, leaving me wondering how much time has elapsed.

Why do I care how much time has elapsed? Sometimes I read things out loud, and I want to know how much time I’m taking. People can only take so much of the sound of my voice. It has a soporific effect. So, I try to keep things short. Unless, of course, I’m speaking to a bunch of insomniacs who want to be lolled to sleep.

I keep getting this message from somewhere out there in Big Blue Cell Phone Nowhere that my cell phone hasn’t been updated in 21 weeks. Oops, 22 weeks. Then it tells me what has to be done to update the cell phone. I follow the instructions to the letter. Nothing happens, except that soon I get another message about not having updated. I really hate that, because once, to punish me, I guess, the cell phone company erased all my contacts.

Anyway, the people in the store were in a frenzy because they were having to stand around while waiting to be helped. They had to get their hands on their new cell phones.

I turned around and left. I’ll go back when things are quieter.


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