All of the Golden Globes she could take

Note: Most newspaper content reprinted here is incomplete and delayed. Want it all? Sooner? You can subscribe to our full print and online editions by calling (559) 674-4207 and get both editions for the price of one!

webmaster | 01/15/13
Author(s): 

The cat who lets us share her house was watching the Golden Globe awards with us Sunday night, but she finally got bored, got up and asked to be put to bed in the garage, which is where she sleeps because she likes to crawl up on my car before dozing off.

This was after 10 o’clock at night, as I recall, and the awards show had been underway for several days at that point — or so it seemed.

The Foreign Press Association, which sponsors the Golden Globes, believes it has to give out awards for just about everything — nicest belt buckle, cutest eyebrows, etc.

The association also feels it has to allow winners to hold forth on how grateful they are to their mothers and spouses. Wouldn’t it be better merely to announce in the beginning that it will be assumed that all winners are grateful to their parents and spouses, unless otherwise noted? That would peel hours off the program, and also would provide for the occasional surprise when some budding actor or actress said something like: “And you, mom and dad, can go shoot yourselves for all I care.”

It wasn’t even much of a surprise when Jodie Foster sort of said she was gay, because about 5,000 stories in supermarket tabloids have let that particular cat out of the bag over the past 30 of the 47 years Foster has been a film performer. About all she did Sunday night was confirm the rumors. What would have been a surprise would have been for her to say, “By the way, all that gossip about my being gay is wrong. I’m actually married to a car mechanic and have seven kids.”

The cat has a very high boredom tolerance, but the Golden Globes were too much even for her. The producers should think about that next year if they want her to keep watching their show to the end.

 

comments powered by Disqus